Radiation and Life after Chemo

After Hawaii, it was time to start radiation. I put a robe on and went into a room with a big machine and then lay down. I had no idea what to expect so I just waited for something painful and long.

The tech left and I laid there as a laser moved across my chest. He came back, he changed everything and once again the laser moved back and forth. He told me I was finished and that I would see them tomorrow.

I was in shock. “That is it?” I said. They laughed and told me it would most likely take longer for me to change than to get my actual treatment. After chemotherapy, I couldn’t have been happier to be doing radiation. The only painful thing was them tattooing small dots on my chest for the leasers to be lined up. After that the usual discomfort of three men staring at your breasts day after day… that was the only drawback to radiation.

I wore my wig for radiation and, looking back now, I don’t know why. I was the youngest patient in almost every place I went. I felt unique in some degree and then at the same time I felt misplaced. No one had an explanation as to how I got my cancer. It took some time, but I began to realize there was a reason why I had cancer; it is so I can help others.

Life was changing and my focus was not on cancer, it was on building my life. I felt like I could simply leave the whole experience in the past. I began to see my life in a linear fashion instead of stair-stepping to higher views.

In December, I was approaching my one year reunion of the discovery of my cancer. My arm began to hurt; I became very alarmed because this is how it had felt when I found my tumor. I just knew the cancer was back.

I went to my doctor and she sent me to an occupational therapist. He told me I Lymphedema. With the combination of my surgery and my radiation, I had very few lymph nodes remaining in my left arm. The swelling and pain I was feeling was due to the inability of my arm to handle all the excess protein being distributed by my blood. There was no cure for Lymphedema and would be something I had to take care of for the rest of my life.

Why couldn’t’ I simply move on without breast cancer continually interrupting my life? After thinking about that question, it came to me that breast cancer will forever be a part of my life. I had to accept that. It was at this time I decided I wanted to do more than just accept it; I wanted to help others accept it.

I know it is not possible for me to sum up the experience of breast Cancer in my life. I don’t think it is even possible for you to truly understand what it was like. But I hope this book will help you to know that cancer does not equal death. Cancer is a great learning experience. If I had to do it all over again, knowing what I know and having gained such a clear picture of my life, I would.  

Storybooking is a celebration of life. Celebrate yours today.

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jennifer Cancer Stories